October 31, 2005

This absolutely blows my mind.

Holy crap.

Not only is it awesome, it combines two of my favorite activites from my childhood. Mad, angry props to Slifer for this one.

October 18, 2005

Sucky Kentucky.

First, allow me to say what a pleasure it was to see some great friends in Nashville this weekend. I got all nostalgic after last year's Homecoming, so I'll spare you that -- but it was great to spend some time with everyone. Hopefully we'll all be able to do this for basketball season!

That said; God, that trip sucked. Not the trip down, and not the stay in Nashville, but the trip back home. Meagan and I got stuck in traffic in her lovely new car. That wouldn't have been so bad had it happened in Tennessee, or even Indiana. No, it happened in Kentucky, the Bluegrass State. Says something about a state when they can't even get the color of grass right.

Anyway, Meagan and I are sitting there and notice a young lady yanking her arm up and down for the big truck behind her to honk his big ol' semi horn. Cute? Woulda been, if the young lady hadn't been SEVEN YEARS OLD. What's wrong with that? She was in the bed. Yes, there was a seven-year girl in the back of a truck with no seat belt on a road where the speed limit was SEVENTY MILES AN HOUR. Argh. (And, yes, I checked. Kentucky plates.). I'm telling you, we need to start giving parents a tests once the baby pops out. The first question?

"You think about putting your seven-year old child in the back of a pick-up truck and driving down the highway while he/she is there. This is:

A) A good idea.
B) A bad idea.
C) A REALLY bad idea.
D) A good sign you're from Kentucky and married your cousin."


So that ticked me off. While boring Meagan about exactly how stupid people from Kentucky are (let's not forget -- they idolize Ashley Judd!), a truck drives by with an American flag flying from his window. Now, I'm all for being patriotic, and the American flag is a glorious thing to display.


This wasn't the whole flag. No, this was half the flag, tattered and torn and literally hanging by strings. As patriotic as flying the flag can be, abusing the flag by not taking care of it and not treating it with respect is one of the most inappropriate and least patriotic things that any American can do. I know that it's a way to show support for our troops, but if you're going to do that, do it right and take care of the flag!!! Otherwise, you're just saying "I want people to see that I support the troops, but I don't want to put any effort into it, because I'm a lazy American. Besides it matches the magnetic ribbon I have on my car that also shows my support of the troops. What? You ask why we are fighting? Um, I've got to go put gas in my SUV while drinking my $6 coffee."

Ok, so that's a little stereotypical, but you get my point. Want to have fun with a redneck? If you see one with a "I/We support our troops" magnetic ribbon/bumper sticker, ask them how they support them aside from showing that they do. Especially fun if you like embarrassed silences.

Yeah, digressing again, but I was on a roll. My point is Kentucky sucks, and the country would be better out if it weren't around. That, and our drive to Nashville would only be three hours instead of five, and would make for an even more fantastic Homecoming.

October 05, 2005


The call of a Braves fan in October.

WHY? Why did we not lay down against Philly so they could win the wild card, letting us face the Padres instead of the Astros? You know St. Louis did that very thing (Astros swept their third stringers in the second-to-last series of the year), but we should've beaten them to the punch.

WHY? Why in God's name did we intentionally walk Berkman in the 7th inning??? Two outs, Pettite on third with Berkman up, Braves down only one. Hudson's still in the game, and on deck is Morgan Ensburg. Now, normally Ensburg doesn't strike fear in the hearts of men, but he'd already had the only two RBI singles recorded by Houston on the day. You've got a 3-10 shot of getting Berkman out, while we've seen that Hudson hadn't been able to handle Ensburg at all this game. Even still, I don't care if Barry F'ing Bonds is at bat, YOU DON'T INTENTIONALLY WALK A BATTER WHEN THE HOT BAT IS ON DECK! Ensburg singles, of course, Hudson get pulled, and the bullpen implodes in the eighth.

WHY? Why is it that every season Atlanta gets the Wednesday afternoon game as their game 1? This never has seemed fair to me -- we've always been the team that clinches with time to spare, while we're up against the team that had to fight hard to make it in, making that extra day of rest critical. Conspiracy theory, sure, but a valid point.

WHY? Why is John Franco the color man for ESPN Radio? Good Lord, it took him five pitches to get one point across. As heard:

"Well, John, how do you pitch this guy?"
"Throw hard and hope he hits a soft liner. Ha. ha. No, really, you have to --"
"There's a curveball for ball one."
"Exactly, he likes to bite on the curveballs. Now, when I faced him last year with the Mets, he was --"
"Takes a fastball for strike one."
"Yep, that's a good pitch there. So, as I was saying, when I was with the Mets last year, I faced this guy and he lined --"
"There's a line shot foul down the right side."
"That's a great cut he showed. When I was with the Mets, he hit a line shot to the shortstop and --"
"There's a pop foul back into the booth. Pity he didn't hit you in the mouth, John."
"What? I don't understand that. Anyway, he hit a soft liner to the shortstop, who was a Met because I used to play for them. I don't think many people know that, so I'll be sure and make sure I let the listeners hear it EVERY PITCH OF EVERY AT-BAT IN THIS GAME."
"And he strikes out looking. It's stretch time at Turner, and I'm getting some earplugs."

Good Lord, he was AWFUL! How did he get that job? Everyone at ESPN is so BoSox happy I can't imagine they'd let anyone from NY in the booth that isn't Mike Piazza. I doubt he could've taken the Hollywood route and slept with someone to get the part (see: Ashley Judd), cause I doubt anyone's that nearsighted. It just bugs me that someone has one of my dream jobs and is doing it so damn poorly. Don't get me started about Nick Lachey on College Gameday; then again, I know who HE'S sleeping with -- no amount of camera time is worth that.

WHY? Why did I get so off-track? Yikes.

I just have to remember -- this game only counts once. Smoltz is in tomorrow in the role he pitched all season for. He can get the ship righted and we'll be right back in the series.

As long as we know when to walk people.